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I haven’t written a blog since last year! I know it’s only February, but are you feeling like me, that we’ve had a year’s worth of events in a month ? Since my last blog , I’ve experienced a wedding, two funerals, an epic Grand Canyon adventure as well as Thanksgiving and Christmas along with all of the other extra events surrounding those Holidays.
The Pollyanna side of me wants to say it was epic and amazing, but the reality is, while it was wonderful, there was more conflict during these times than I have ever experienced in my entire life. Anxiety set in between rude people on the airplane, flights getting delayed , and also tending to some caregiving responsibilities that went into overdrive. As if that wasn’t enough, then along comes the sadness and flood of emotions that happen with the loss of a loved one. Families just trying to process the hurt and loss sometimes end up lashing out in unhealthy ways …
I never really struggled before with letting words go, but for whatever reason, I guess as I was grieving, I took every word about everything personally and then just stewed in the yuck! Have you ever done that? Played a conversation in your head over again and gone through all of the coulda woulda shoulda talk? Well, I did and I literally was overwhelmed and anxious having my own little pity party feeling like I tried to do things right and then ended up not being able to please everyone anyway.
So grateful our Church always has a fasting emphasis at the beginning of the year! When you really press in and just lay whatever it is at God’s feet , God does show and give you exactly what you need.
For me perspective came through the story of Joseph.
This was Joseph’s response to the injustice inflicted by his brothers: “And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you” (Genesis 45:5, NIV). Later, he said, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” (Genesis 50:20)
Joseph did not say, “Oh, that’s OK. Don’t worry about it.” No, he called the betrayal what it was — evil against him that resulted in 13 years of slavery. At the same time, he chose to forgive the wrong done to him and allowed God’s grace to flow through him. He opened the door for reconciliation. We can’t avoid conflict, but we do get to choose how to deal with it. Do we make the rip worse, or do we do all we can to mend and heal?
Life delivers many reasons to be at odds with our sisters and our brothers. Let’s look for ways to be at one with them instead. Let’s also look for ways to be family to each other, to stand up for each other as dearly loved daughters and sons of a Good Father. Because the family takes care of each other, and entrusts to God the matter of justice.
When we passed forgiveness around the table in the serving dish of grace at my home, we weren’t saying that what had gone on in our family was right or that it didn’t matter. We were saying yes, it was wrong, it did matter, and now we were choosing to let it go.
Joseph’s forgiveness ends Genesis, the first book of the Bible. We close out the epic narrative with a portrait of forgiveness that continues throughout the entire Bible, and it all begins with a very mixed-up family.