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He would love first
As we approached and walked through this season reflecting on the Easter events, I found myself overhearing many conversations around me with one common theme–I will respect when it’s deserved. I will love when I am loved. I hear this conversation topic and have two thoughts, 1) I get it. That is the natural response I have in my flesh sometimes. Love me and I will love back– punch me, and in my anger and pride, I will punch harder.
Then conviction kicks in like a double shot of espresso. That’s where number two comes in–2) I would be really disappointed if I got what love I deserve.
God shows me unconditional love everyday. His love doesn’t have strings attached. His love doesn’t require me working to earn it. It is simply given. And that love is what has transformed me and many i love from death to life. I wear this bracelet that says H.W.L.F– which stands for He would love first. He didn’t wait for love to be shown before He loved. That’s the love I both fail to give and strive to give.
Before I begin this story, I just want to preface that if you haven’t heard me talk about it on LifeSongs, I LOVE PEOPLE. Since I was a small child, my parents recognized that God designed me extremely interpersonally and relationally gifted, desiring positive connection with those around me. This has been my greatest strength and weakness as I have grown into a young adult believer of God and deep lover of his people because Satan knows the quickest way to distract my heart is to create conflict within what I treasure most, relationships.
Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, back to the story. I could reach into my vault of relational tensions and conflicts and pull out a much more vulnerable example– but this one works just as good without completely oversharing. (Which I have the tendency to do.)
I worked as the receptionist at my grandfather’s insurance agency during the summers and breaks during high school. This was my first official job and opportunity to build friendships with my coworkers and you best bet– I wanted to be friends with everyone in the office. This was not at all a challenge to me if not for ONE coworker. There was this woman I worked with and from the very beginning we did not get along. Day in and day out, it was very obvious to me that she did not like that I was there. Of course, this bothered me. It felt to me that she had made false assumptions about me, which was hurtful. But I remember the Lord drawing me to show her the love and care that I wished she would finally show me. So, I began writing her encouraging notes and leaving them on her desk every single day. Looking back, this is just how I would want someone to respond if I were giving sad, mad at the world vibes. And this is the love God has shown me when I am at my most broken towards him. Even in our apathetic avoidance, and bad attitudes—He pursues us. This woman and I became great friends soon after I started writing these simple but impactful notes. She would start and end her day talking to me and we even went to lunch together every week.
It’s so easy to love when we feel like it, but when we don’t we have a choice to make. One of last week’s uplifting words was John 13:34, it says: A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you.
As Christians, we are called and commanded to love as Christ loved. He chose to love when He was disrespected. He chose to love beyond what people deserved. He chose to love and not rely on His feelings, rather the Lord to source this LOVE. Seeing a person who doesn’t feel seen. Showing compassion instead of piling on criticism and condemnation. Dying to give those who killed Him—eternal life.
Our world has this idea that love is given when love is gotten. But that’s not what this verse says, and it’s not what Christ did. When it’s hard to love, let’s remember that we were loved in our sin, may we be Christ, may we show Christ to others by extending this love, especially when it’s hard and we don’t technically feel like it.
The world sees enough love given on conditional terms, but I believe with all my heart that if Christians took up this radical, unconditional love Jesus demonstrated for the Church, we would see the world begin to come to a state of repentance.
Last weekend I went to a concert and my husband gave me a budget. I totally lived a YOLO life and did not stick with the budget I was given. When I added up all the money I spent, I instantly felt anxious knowing I deserved criticism and not compassion. But, my husband showed me grace, understanding and forgiveness even though I didn’t deserve it.
The most beautiful moments in my life were the ones when I received love that I truly didn’t deserve. Those are the moments that soften my hard heart and draw me to repentance. Those are the moments I most vividly see God characteristics displayed in His people. And those are the moments that make me want to be like Jesus.
May we, the Church, multiply these moments, so that we may multiply those that come to a saving belief in Jesus Christ.